i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
