you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
