She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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