She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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