I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
