I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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