I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize