wakey wakey hands off snakey
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
