"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
