Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
