I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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