I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
