I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
