Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
