covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You should frame my arrest warrant.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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