HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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