I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
