We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
