420 ftw
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Randomize
