I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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