Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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