just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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