how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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