cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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