Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
