We won't sleep together?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize