sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
