I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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