Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
