I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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