Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
