wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There r osticjed everywhere
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
