My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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