she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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