sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
