I wish you could order shots online.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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