so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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