the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize