I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
