He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
