I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
