I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
