Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
