we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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