the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
