I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
