i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
