you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
