she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
