Kiss
Puke
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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