i already hear my dad disowning me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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