then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
being pregnant is like rehab
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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