You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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