i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My vagina is officially offended.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
