I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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