You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it was like eating out sand paper
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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