You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
then he tried to convert me to islam
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
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Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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