HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
