Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
