so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Slut skills are useful in every country.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
