8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
His nipple licking is glorious
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