She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
